Living with.. Acceptance

I’m not going to talk about any of my illnesses today or raise awareness for them and other invisible diseases. Instead I’m going to talk about something I believe is far more important as a sufferer, acceptance

As I have mentioned in the passed I was a very sporty child and completely healthy, along with all of my family members and siblings. So when I got ill and diagnosed with all of the illnesses I have mentioned in previous posts, it was a shock to the system and the family. Going through all of the hospital investigations and the doctors asking my mother and I:

Doe’s this run in the family? Do you have a history of these symptoms in your blood line?‘ 


And each time the answer being no, its just her/me‘. As a youngster, I felt I was being punished, felt all of the good things in my life and all of my aspirations were being taken away from me. I constantly asked ‘why me? what did I do to deserve this?’ and for a short while, I continued to believe that it was a punishment and that I did deserve it

However, after a few years of self pity, depression and all in all giving up, I realized that there was no point. This was my life now and rather than being a constant misery and convincing myself there was no reason to carry on I stopped saying to myselfwhy me?‘ but rather ‘this is me’ and I wrote a list. A list of all the reasons this was good for me. So, here it is, my gratitude list

  • I appreciate life more than I ever did. The small things really, things I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at before. For example, going on a bike ride or playing in the snow. Two things that before I was ill was just normal activities, where as now I hardly have the energy or strength to do it. But when I do, it feels epic.
  • Rather me than my family. My younger siblings have so much going for them and I would hate to see this happen to them. They are beautiful, young, smart with so much going for them and are 1000% healthy. I have come to believe that I have taken all of the ‘bad/misfortune’  illnesses etc. allowing them to flourish as they were meant to, without anything to hold them back. 
  • An extension of the previous point, I also believe that this is part of my destiny (if you will). It is my destiny to have taken on these illnesses to allow them to be healthy and free to pursue their path. For this is my path. Rather than the athlete I had always dreamed of being, it was a means to an end. A point in the right direction down my life path. It was a test of will to see if I was able to handle what was intended for me. 
  • Without this, I would never have found passion in Business and pursued this as a career.I would never have gone to University. I would never have met my friends and grown into the person I am now. 

So there you go, a list of things I am grateful for with regards to my illnesses. I’m not especially religious but I do believe things happen for a reason, though we may not know it yet. I have accepted that my life is different know, that days are going to be tough and potentially get worse. But you know what?

  • If this hadn’t of happened to me I know for a fact that I would not be as happy with my life as I am now.
  • I know I would not have met a group of friends who I love and cherish as much as I do now.
  • I would not be getting a degree and pursuing something I deeply love and I am good at.
  • I would not be the person I am today, the person I am proud of being.

 

I hope you have enjoyed this post and maybe see that there is good in the bad. If you feel similar to myself, please leave a comment! I would love to hear what you are grateful for.

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10 thoughts on “Living with.. Acceptance

  1. Great post!! I have had a similar post idea hovering in my head for a while now, so I definitely 100% agree with you. There are a lot of things fibromyalgia took away from me, but certainly also a lot of things that I have gained. And I promise to write a post about it soon. One aspect of it is the little day-to-day things that now I feel very grateful for, which I would never have thought of twice in my life before . . . this might spin off as its own little series in my blog one day. But such things have helped me attain a state of semi-mindfulness which in itself has brought me much peace. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ooo! I look forward to reading your post and continue to read if you make it into a series. Yea it does take things from you but the things it gives you back you deffo don’t expect. The little things in life now are definitely what I appreciate the most, especially when you think back to how you wouldn’t think twice about them before. Thanks for commenting 🙂 glad you feel the same!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • OK, I finally did manage to write that post, about all the good things that fibromyalgia has brought in my life, though it took some time! Not sure if you had had a chance to see it or not, but I remembered us having this conversation not that long ago, so I thought I’d pop in to leave an update. 🙂 The series idea is still somewhat on hold . . . I am toying with my thoughts on that one.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Awesome! I will come have a look at it now, yea the series is still a good idea but if you feel as a weekly thing its not going to work as well, maybe do an end of month ‘things i am grateful for?’ or something like that? Just another idea for you to toy with 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for writing this wonderful post! I definitely went through many years of “why me?” when I first discovered my mental illness. I think I still battle with it. I really connected to the part where you talked about “appreciating life more.” Many days when I am not feeling great, I will just look around me, and realize what a beautiful place we live in. Without my illness, I might still be charging ahead, and forget to “smell the roses.” Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for this comment and I am glad you liked the blog. I know exactly what you mean and i am the same. I’m grateful in the fact that my eyes are now open I am can truly see and appreciate what life has to offer 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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