Well it’s finally happened, I’ve had my first break down for this year, I’ve lost all motivation and have done anything and everything else except what i actually need to be doing. Hello student life!
The last few weeks I’ve really been struggling with motivation and getting on with my work but despite all of my best efforts my mind has been else where. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I do not have a lot of work to do from now until January; I have submitted my dissertation proposal so all I have to complete now is two assignments within the next month or so, begin work on my presentation group project and begin looking into research and data for my dissertation. I have a dissertation meeting tomorrow to begin looking into what route to take with my personal tutor, therefore this is not a huge worry on my mind for it is only the beginning. In all honesty I don’t truly know what I am worrying solely about, but I am worried.
I keep trying to organise myself, making to-do lists as well as breaking this down further to create smaller targets to tackle, giving them deadlines in order for me to keep on top of everything. I made this list with around 20 targets on and completed the first 5 quickly, giving me a sense of achievement and made me ‘ahead’ of where I needed to be (so to speak). This gave me some free time before the next deadline came up, and though I tried to power through the targets with my revived motivation I couldn’t. My mind had hit a wall, almost like writer’s block. I was taking in the information but nothing was being given back to me. I was reading the words but nothing was registering. This is when the procrastination kicked in, which of course lead to further procrastination until I was so far in I had basically forgot I was in my final year of university actually trying to get a degree. Once I remembered this the panic set in. The break down.
I’ve not been able to collect myself, think straight or even face looking at my work but at the same time I know the longer I leave it, the worse it is going to get. So I tried to make myself feel better and get myself back on track, and I think it’s worked. A meeting tomorrow with my dissertation personal tutor to help me get a plan together for my report should get the ball rolling in that area. A meeting with my presentation group this week to pick a topic and begin the research and construction of the project, as well as also talking to them about the assignment for the same class should help put my mind at ease. Throw in a quiz night, a few nights at work and a few hours of kickboxing as the right kind of procrastination and breaks and BOOM, by the end of the week I should feel like myself again!
The key for me is to stay positive but I find it difficult when I get myself stuck in a rut to find the positive sides of things, but just by asking for a bit of help from friends and tutors it can change your point of view completely.
Fell free to leave me a comment if you’ve been feeling the same recently or in general, i’d love to hear what you have to say.
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